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Showing posts with label Anthropology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anthropology. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Beck's Risk Society on a Global Scale

The challenge of voting in today's world
This informal article is inspired by numerous ideas I have acquired through my Jr. College and 1st Year University education. It applies epistemology, anthropology, sociology, and globalisation studies to understand and address two contemporary problems.
In his book Risk Society, Ulrich Beck notes that modernisation has produced many hazards and risks characteristic of the 20th and 21st Century. Two major problems are especially pertinent today:

1. Climate Change and 
2. Economic Collapse

These two problems are truly global in scale. Their impact is or will be felt across the world regardless of borders and their solutions necessarily involve concerted, multilateral action. The unilateral actions of single nations or political blocs cannot conclusively solve these problems. However, concerned voters find it difficult to make informed decisions about these issues due to its specialist nature. Only select government agencies, NGOs, industry experts and academic communities possess the technical knowledge to thoroughly assess and address these problems. Voters’ relative ignorance compromises their ability to cast sound votes and make informed choices through the democratic process and, even if they do, such unilateral action does not solve the problem because concerted multilateral action is lacking. In light of these issues, it seems that national democratic processes cannot cope with the demands of global problems.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Everyday Anomie - An Undergrad's Views

What is anomie at the daily level? How does if feel like? Does an academic definition suffice? Or is it better to examine it from a daily, experiential viewpoint? This entry explores the latter.

What is Anomie?
Anomie is a with many connotations and definitions in different social sciences. They center around a lack of social norms or the practical inability to achieve them, resulting in a sense of social alienation and purposelessness. From a layman's view, I guess you could liken it to a proletarian lifestyle: long hours, low pay, forever cut off from the status and prestige of wealth & power. But it's not just the proles who feel this way now - graduates also work on the clock, face increasing competition and with it, the pressure to 'do more for less'. I want to be a clinical psychologist - I want to look back on my career and  know that I made a difference to someone - and I know from part-timing in an office that we, as Karl Marx suggested last century, are increasingly reduced to automatons in large social or corporate machineries. I think it's important for me to understand peoples' daily struggles in order to provide what assistance I can to make it that little better.




Why is the Daily Grind Anomic?
Marx said that society's superstructure of norms, values and practices rest upon an economic base insofar as social practices cannot contradict the means of production needed for economic survival. This concept is know as the base-superstructure critique, but such a macro-social perspective hardly addresses the affective symptoms behind anomie. How does it feel to live an anomic life? I would liken it to the Greek Myth of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was condemned to roll a large rock up a hill in Hades for eternity. After he reached the top each day, it would roll back down and the process was repeated ad infinitum. No one for company, a laborious, never-ending struggle, and ultimately futile. The existential philosopher Albert Camus drew a comparison between Sisyphus and the meaninglessness of life. Camus likens it to the Daily Grind. Camus concluded by saying "one must imagine Sisyphus happy", but Marx would call this a pathetic response and advocate rehauling society through a proletarian revolution. While I don't see the validity of full-on Bolshevism anymore, I do agree that life a la Sisyphus is not an acceptable mode of life.


I first saw Sisyphus' story in the Daily Grind of real life while I worked part-time in an office. Everyone wears a deadened expression facing their computer screens, processing the same papers everyday, and under these circumstances tempers easily flare over trivial things. In the short 2 weeks I could bear to stay there, 5 people resigned. It's not hard to see why: they clock in, they clock out, 5 days a week, most of it spent in a cramped 3-walled computer cubicle, then they go home and do it all over again tomorrow. Sisyphus is not a myth. If I'm not mistaken, these were workers with diplomas. Would a degree guarantee a less deadening work life?


Not to my knowledge. I know of many well-qualified graduates whose work life mirrors the proles'. My father is a CPA-Certified accountant with an MBA, yet he is not spared from the daily grind. Nor is my friend (Maj. Mass. Comm. cum laude, University of Sydney) who formerly worked at Young & Rubicam, the global advertising company, or even my M.D. (National University of Singapore) cousins in Singapore. They liken themselves to hawkers - some days you can sell your services, other days your retail 'outlet' is a ghost town (no offense to the deceased). You meet your colleagues for lunch and the mandatory corporate function, but you hardly have time or energy to meet them outside the office as friends. The daily grind exists for the white-collared as much as it does for the blue-collared. The meaning in work is lost through the anonymous clients that pass trough your doors, the long hours, and the pressure to perform as a professional. Real ncome, too, isn't a certainty with increasingly volatile global economies, labour competitiveness and inflationary pressures. The difference between the white- & blue-collared worker lies in the extent of financial insecurity experienced rather than its presence. Either way, the stressful, confining circumstances and tedium of the Daily Grind tends is fertile ground for sterile anomie.




What Can We Do?
Since anomie involves social alienation and purposelessness, I first asked what social alienation actually meant in realistic terms. What does it feel to be alienated from others? Wherein lies meaning in relationships? If it isn't likely to be found in the office, where we arguably spend most our days, where else can we find it?


Perhaps we can find it in each other. At the Arts Faculty's recommendation, I've been reading the novel "Boat People" by Nam Le. He writes about the lives of different people in different social and economic contexts. The central theme running through each of his short stories is the emotional importance of our relationships to our lives. The rich painter longs to be a part of his estranged daughters life, and the relatively wealthy Columbian assassin finds himself willing to throw it away for love and friendship. It reminded me of Victor Frankl's book "The Search for Meaning" - a set text for sophomore psychology majors at the University of Melbourne - where Frankl narrates his Holocaust experiences in the Theresienstadt Nazi concentration camp. In the midst of intense suffering that approximates the anomie of Sisyphus' story more than any other 20th Century event, the men in Auschwitz find solace in each others' company and the thought of their loved ones waiting for them beyond the barb-wired fences. His wife was later killed. There is no guarantee of life, no certainty that their lovers await outside - yet it was marginally bearable because they had each other. They had the socio-emotional support that arises from being a part of each others' daily struggles - they were friends, brothers, comrades, perhaps even soulmates, except they never married.


Frankl's account suggests that the anomic symptoms of purposelessness & alienation can be made more bearable through social bonds. Again, a Marxist will say that this distracts us from the fact that we can purportedly address the root cause of working-life anomie through revolution, and even the Hippie of the American counter-culture of the '60s and '70s will say that we can live 'outside the system' in communes with barter trade, free sex, drugs and rock-'n-roll. These are the great experimental phases in human history, movements that were short-lived and imploded because they couldn't provide a comfortable level of economic sustenance. It is ironic that Marx's base-superstructure model of society should be refuted by an attempt to abandon the capitalist system he criticised. Even in our daily lives, it is obvious that abandoning the Daily Grind jeopardises our finances, and hence it's around the Daily Grind that we must attempt to forge social bonds that make life bearable.


Please note that the bonds he described were not structural or hierarchical connections between guard and prisoner or, for in our context, employer-employee relations. It may not even be the bond between shallow family members. Instead, Frankl's descriptions indicate that the supportive factors against anomie were affective bonds of friendship. This is where I depart from big theories, names and events.




The Buddy & BFF
Among my male friends of my generation, the buddy is the best friend, the kindred spirit, the one you play soccer with and talk about girls. The BFF - what girls call their "best female friend" - the ladies' equivalent of the buddy, except they go shopping and watch cheesy drama serials rather than soccer. Before the feminists et al kill me, I'm just stereotyping so that we have an idea of the sort of friendship I'm talking about. These are the friends who share their joys and sorrows with you, the ones who you can count on at the end of the day.


Sometimes, just talking about your troubles can be cathartic. The buddy who's there when you get passed over for a promotion, the BFF who can empathise with a break-up, the one who swings an arm around your shoulder or gives you a pat on the back. Even in good times, friends make things better: someone to buy you dinner when you graduate, when you win a medal, before you fly overseas for studies - a special someone for the special moments in life - I believe that these are the moments that gives life its special meaning. When someone lets you know that they're proud of you, that you're special, that they care and are happy that you're in their life, I think these are the things that conventional social values gloss over.


Perhaps it's part of the superstructure that emphasises the virtue of wealth. Travie McCoy's song "I wanna be a billionaire (so fricking bad)" will be familiar to my peers. I always believed that the zeitgeist of an epoch is manifested in popular culture, and this Platinum hit in multiple countries hints that the age-old worship of excess wealth is still alive. Do we need that much wealth for a comfortable lifestyle? Do we need that much wealth for a contented life? I don't think so. I think contentment lies in the timeless inspiration that transcends space, place and culture: love.


My cycling coach shares a two-room apartment with his partner. He teaches English, she's a psychological counsellor. I thought their flat was almost squalid, until I saw how they talked to each other and smiled. The room was brightened by their synergy and obvious affection. It didn't matter that he was from New Zealand and she, from Singapore. Before she came home, my aged coach was showing me their pictures and their plush-toy 'children' like a young boy in love. He behaved a lot like I did during my first relationship. They found time for each other, to go on hikes and scuba dive, to cook dinner and travel overseas. They had a contentment that I envied... and that's when I realised that beyond a comfortable income, affective bonds are really all you need for a happy, contented life.


As Train's US Billboard no. 1 song "If It's Love" puts it:


If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whatever


A psychologist can't prescribe love. I can't find friends for patients, and whatever compassion I extend is limited to the clinic's professional ethos. I cannot be a patient's friend... but perhaps I may use my knowledge to point them in the right direction.

Maybe I entertain these romantic notions of friends and lovers because I'm still young at 21. Maybe I say these because life has not jaded my spirits and a hollow where my heart still beats. Maybe it's because I've realised the absurdity of life after 2 suicide attempts & daily anti-depressants worse than Prozac. But dare I say that it's because I find inspiration in the possibilities & adventures of friendship & romance.

If Sisyphus was still happily married
If he found a friend in Prometheus just as Frankl found his
Then maybe, just maybe, one could imagine Sisyphus happy.


N.B. I find it fitting to mention:
My buddies Hon Ding, Junwei & Eric & Eunice Teo, the truest friends there ever were
And to Ng Xue Wen, my Precious Dear, my salvation, and inspiration.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Folks in Sheep's Clothing

Folks in Sheep's Clothing

A University of Melbourne Final Essay Assignment

Under the Freshman subject "Anthropology: Studying Human Diversity

Topic: "Animals are good for thinking. Discuss."

Passed with High Distinction (H1)
============ ============ ============
By Benjamin L** C.Y., written during Semester 2, 2010




Introduction
Animals are good for thinking because they act as simple, symbolic representations of complex issues. They are used as metonymic devices that people use to define and express their thoughts on an issue. This usually occurs through anthropomorphosis, where animals are given human-like traits despite a lack of sufficient evidence for such a ‘personification’ (Horowitz, 2007). These animals are either imbued with desirable traits that humans would like to possess (Eason, 2008, p. viii-ix) or, conversely, come to represent human vices.

We will examine various case studies that explore:
(1) The process of anthropomorphosis
(2) Its use as a metonymic identity marker
(3) How these can reflect a social conflict and become embroiled in it
(4) How animalisation can be an effective alternative to anthropomorphosis.

[MT1] By analysing these case studies, this essay argues that the symbolism attached to animals is nothing more than human ‘folks in sheep’s clothing’. Animal symbols merely function as metaphorical representations of people’s cherished values and/or social identity.[MT2] 


1. The Process of Anthropomorphosis – Personifying the creature[MT3] 
Anthropomorphosis involves the value-laden interpretation [MT4] of animal behaviour. Animal behaviour per se is a factual empirical observation and anthropomorphosis only occurs when humans attribute these behaviours to animal agency and appraise its virtues or vices. This implies that anthropomorphosis creates a distinct ‘creature’ out of the animal that inspired it in a way that reflects human values.

The anthropomorphosis of ‘Balto-the-dog’ into ‘Balto-the-statue’ illustrates this point. In 1925, Balto was part of a sled dog team delivered a serum through harsh tundra conditions (New York City Department of Parks & Recreation, 2001) and saved the Alaskan town of Nome from a diphtheria epidemic. When the story reached the New York Airedale [terrier] club, the club decided to finance the creation of Balto’s statue and placed it New York Central Park. A frieze below the statue dedicated it to the “indomitable spirit of the sled dogs” who delivered the serum  “across treacherous waters through arctic blizzards”, ending with the adjectives “Endurance, Fidelity, Intelligence” (Kean, 2009). Its tone and content clearly praises canine heroism.

However, this is an erroneous travesty. Firstly, it describes “sled dogs” while disregarding the sled drivers, suggesting a reading where the dogs have “intelligence” and agency while the drivers’ role is secondary. Secondly, the single image of Balto contradicts the plural description of “sled dogs” (ibid.). This shows that the creation of Balto’s statue as a metonym for the whole event was, in fact, a human creation inspired from the raw material of facts, which then acquired a pseudo-mythological form that is independent of the event and its parties. [MT5] Such a view is further supported by the sled dogs’ (and Balto’s) subsequent mistreatment in a “dime museum” (Meyer, 1998).

Balto’s case suggests that humans are less interested in the actual animal and more focused on the qualities they can plausibly attribute to them – in this case, Balto’s ‘heroism’. The Airedale club has ‘hijacked’ Balto’s image and performed an anthropomorphosis that reflects the club’s positive view of dogs while disproportionately highlighting the role of canine ‘heroism’ over other factors in the Nome delivery (Kean, 2009). One could reasonably say that the statue actually represents ‘humans in Balto’s clothing’.


2. Metonyms & Identity – Imaginary lion trounces real squirrel
The anthropomorphised representation of human agendas is also evident in the use of animals as political totems. Just as Balto expressed the Airedale club’s attitudes towards canines, the Lion has been used to define the territory, identity and aspirations of independent Singapore. [MT6] To differentiate between the lion as an animal and the Lion as a national symbol, the latter is capitalised.

The Lion first represents Singapore as a nation-state by acting as a metonymic image for its purported historical origins. According to the Sejarah Melayu (Malay Annals), the Srivijayan Prince Sang Nila Utama supposedly saw a lion when he landed on the island during the pre-colonial period. Based on this sighting, he decided to name the island Singapura where ‘Singa’ means ‘lion’ and ‘pura’ means ‘city’ (Cornelius-Takahama, 1999). ‘Singapura’ was then anglicised into ‘Singapore’ when Sir Stamford Raffles colonised the island, after which the modern Republic of Singapore eventually inherited this name and territory.

The lion’s role in this legend is highly suspicious – because lions never existed in Singapore (Rae, 2007). Instead, the Lion as a symbolic totem invented by the Ministry of Communications and Information as it sought to find an image that exemplifies “the characteristics of Singapore's reputation as a Lion City… and represents the human values of “courage, strength and excellence” while the lion’s mane’s five partings represent Singapore’s 5 ideals of “democracy, peace, progress, justice and equality” (Mohamed, 1997). In this form, the lion as animal became anthropomorphized into the Lion as symbol, which the nascent government then used as a focal point for national loyalty (Rae, 2007).

The fact that the Lion was an invention did not detract from its popular success. In The Straits Times, Singapore’s largest newspaper, a suggestion that an indigenous squirrel would be a more appropriate national symbol met with the following rebuff:

I am sure Sang Nila Utama saw plenty of plantain squirrels upon his arrival… I am confident that the majority of Singaporeans would prefer a national animal that conjures an image of majesty, strength and pride, over a jittery rodent that calls to mind cuteness and fecundity… we are all lions at heart. (Tang, 2005 in ibid.)

This suggests that Singaporeans are more concerned about the human qualities that can be plausibly attributed to a lion rather than the animal’s actual existence. [MT7] In this sense, the country’s reputation as an “Asian [economic] Tiger” (Barro, 1998) rather than a lion city, the Lion’s lack of historical validity, and the presence of more appropriate indigenous animals for national self-definition are irrelevant – the Lion was still accepted as a symbolic ‘totem’ that represents Singapore. Being a ‘human in Lion’s clothing’ is their way expressing their identity and aspirations.


3. Totem Battlefield – Contesting a totem’s value
            Since animals can become symbolic ‘totems’ that embody values and identity, it is no surprise that totems can also function as a platform for people to articulate opposing viewpoints. Conflicts of value between opposing camps may involve a disagreement about the status of an animal totem. This effectively turns the totem into a ‘moral battlefield’ between belligerents with “widely differing socio-economic and symbol systems” (Peterson, 1993).

The totem’s function as a moral battlefield is shown in the conflict between whalers and anti-whaling environmentalists. Various cetaceans have qualities that parallel our own, such as the gray whale’s ‘friendliness’ and the humpback’s ‘singing’. The environmentalists have combined these desirable characteristics under the image of ‘the whale’, which belies the fact that no single cetacean possesses all of these characteristics (Kalland, 1993b). This anthropomorphosis has turned the whale into a fictitious, pseudo-human ‘super-whale’ that invokes a sense of human empathy. Those who feel this was way and identify with the ‘super-whale’ totem form the “nature-loving” faction of anti-whalers who stand dichotomously opposed to the “blood-thirsty” whalers (Kalland, 1993a).

On the other hand, whalers resent such violations against their customary right to exploit marine resources. In response to the anti-whalers’ anthropomorphic elevation of the whale’s status, whalers and whaling nations have come to view whaling as an expression of sovereignty and autonomy (ibid.). For example, Norwegian whalers, have come to view whaling as an expression of their rights over local resources while coastal whalers in Japan and Iceland have come to view the consumption of whale meat as the symbolic desecration of the ‘enemy’s’ totem. In contrast to the environmentalists, the whalers view the whale as their commodity and its exploitation doubles as an expression of their autonomy.

The crux of the issue lies in what the whale means as a symbol – a normative valuation relative to a specific cultures – rather than what the whale is as an animal – a positive fact. By using the symbol of the whale to articulate their respective value systems, the conflict over what the whale symbol means has come to reflect a larger conflict about the moral status of whaling.[MT8] 


4. ‘Animalisation’ – Metaphorical meaning without anthropomorphosis
            Despite the pervasiveness of anthropomorphosis in constructing symbols, it is not the only way to create meaning with animals. Another common method involves likening humans to animals: Instead of the animals ‘taking on’ human traits, the human (or other object) take on animal traits. We will explore how animalisation occurs and study an example of its use.

            While anthropomorphosis involves the plausible reading of human traits into non-human animals, animalisation does the opposite: it involves plausibly reading animal traits into humans or human objects. The latter is explicitly present in the naming of Jaguar Cars Limited. William Lyons, the founder of Jaguar automobiles, sought to find a name that would reflect the “speed, sleekness and raw power” of his cars and settled on the name ‘Jaguar’ in 1935 (Jaguar Cars Limited Australia, 2010). These vehicles purportedly embodied “feline grace and elegance, combining docility with remarkable power and agility” (Jaguar Daimler Heritage Trust, 2010). Whereas anthropomorphosis attaches human traits to animals, the animalisation of Jaguar cars attaches the animal’s traits to human products as a metaphorical representation of the cars’ merits.

            In a manner similar to how the aforementioned ‘super-whale’ was used, animalisation can also be used to convey opinions and define issues of social concern. For example, the character of Iago in Shakespeare’s play Othello highlights the racial incongruence and immorality of an illicit marriage between Othello, an African Moor, and Desdemona, the daughter of the Venetian nobleman Brabantio. Iago informs Brabantio of the affair using the animalised analogy: “an old black ram is tupping [copulating with] your white ewe” (Act I., Scene i., Line 88-89). The communicative and literary function of this phrase lies in the contrasting connotations associated with black and white while its negative moral meaning rests with the immoral, animalistic behaviour of Othello and Desdemona (Adler, 1974). In the text’s setting of xenophobic Venice during the 17th Century, black refers to a Moor or Negro (“the black Othello”, II. ii. 29), the proverbial black sheep (African Othello in Italy’s Venice), contrasted with the white European Desdemona (“that whiter skin of hers than snow”, V. ii.4) (ibid.). These multi-layered racial and moral meanings in the contrast of black and white reinforce the immorality expressed in the animal imagery of sheep – “ram” and “ewe” – as animalistic behaviour in a Shakespearean context refers to savage sensuality (Shannon, 2009). It can thus be seen that an analogy has been drawn between the Othello-Desdemona union and copulating sheep of different colours: the copulation between a “black ram” and “white ewe” alludes to their racial disparity while reducing Othello and Desdemona to mere animals alludes to their lack of moral temperance over their sensual instincts. [MT9] They have been symbolically animalised to express the conventions and moral beliefs of 17th Century Venice in Shakespeare’s Othello.


Conclusion
            In conclusion, this essay has argued that animals are metaphorically used as public representations of people’s cherished values and/or social identity. This is usually done through anthropomorphosis where human traits are attached to animals (Horowitz, 2007). In turn, the anthropomorphised animals function as symbols of humans’ values and identity. As with Balto’s statue and Singapore’s Lion, the factuality of the event or animal(s) in question is not the central focus. Instead, people are only interested in the qualities that they can plausibly attribute to their animal ‘totem’ and, therefore, its ability to function as a symbol of their beliefs. Kalland’s (1993a & 1993b) study on the anti-whaling controversy demonstrates how this can be applied: a fictitious ‘super-whale’ is used to dichotomously identify and represent the anti-whalers vis-à-vis the whalers. This anthropomorphised ‘super-whale’ symbol then becomes a moral battlefield that becomes embroiled in a larger war of values about the moral status of whaling.

            Animalisation is a less common, but equally effective way, to use animals for metaphorical expression and communication. Whereas anthropomorphosis attributes human traits to animals, animalisation attributes animal qualities to humans or human objects. As shown in the case of Jaguar Cars Limited and Shakespeare’s Othello, humans ascribe animal properties to humans or human crafts in order to capture a set of qualities or values in a single image – be it a powerful predator or copulating sheep. Both anthropomorphosis and animalisation use animals to economically encapsulate and communicate ideas, identities and meanings in a manner that reflects human attitudes. They paint a ‘picture’ of meaning that makes it simpler and easier to think about potentially complex issues. Just as a ‘picture paints a thousand words’, animals are good to think with because we can use them to capture a ‘thousand’ ideas.
 [Examiner's comments after references.]


References – Harvard citation format

Adler, D. 1974, 'The rhetoric of black and white in Othello', Shakespeare Quarterly, vol. 25, no. 2, pp. 149-150, viewed 27 October 2009, .

Barro, R.J. 1998, 'The east Asian tigers have plenty to roar about', Business Week, 27 April, 24, viewed 30 October 2010, .

Cornelius-Takahama, V. 1999, Sang Nila Utama, National library board Singapore, viewed 30 October 2010, .

Eason, C. 2008, Fabulous creatures, mythical monsters, and animal power symbols: a hankdbook, Greenwood Press, Westport, Connecticut.

Meyer, E.A. 1998, Balto, Encyclopedia of Cleveland History, viewed 29 October 2010, .

Horowitz, A. 2007, 'Anthropomorphism', in M. Bekoff (ed.), Encyclopedia of human-animal relationships, Greenwood Publishing Group, Westport CT, pp. 60-66. .

Jaguar Daimler Heritage Trust, 2010, The Jaguar story 1935-38 part 1, Jaguar Daimler Heritage Trust, viewed 29 October 2010, .

Jaguar Cars Limited, 2010, Heritage, Jaguar Cars Limited, viewed 29 October 2010, .

Kalland , A. 1993a, 'Whale politics and green legitimacy', Anthropology Today, vol. 9, no. 6, pp. 3-7, viewed 26 October 2010, .

Kalland, A. 1993b, 'Whale totemization', Arctic,  vol. 46, no. 2, pp. 124-133, viewed 31 October 2010, .

Kean, H. 2009, 'Balto, the Alaskan dog and his statue in New York's central park', International journal of heritage studies, vol. 15, no. 5, pp. 413-430, viewed on 29 October 2010, .

Mohamed, Z. 1997, Lion head symbol, National library board Singapore, viewed 30 October 2010, .

New York City Department of Parks & Recreation 2001, Balto, New York City Department of Parks & Recreation website, viewed 29 October 2010, .

Peterson, J.H. Jr. 1993, 'Epilogue: Whales and elephants as cultural symbols', Arctic, vol. 46, no. 2, pp. 172-174, viewed 31 October 2010,  .

Rae, P. 2007, 'Cat's entertainment', The Drama Review, vol. 51, no. 1, pp. 119-137, viewed 30 October 2010, .

Shannon, L. 2009, 'The eight animals in Shakespeare; or, before the human', PMLA, vol. 124, no. 2, pp. 472-479, viewed 21 October 2010, .

===== END OF ESSAY =====
[Examiner's Comments]
Benjamin,
This was a very good essay.  You use very interesting examples to support your argument.  You integrate your sources well into the body of your essay and provide insightful conclusions from your analysis.  A few minor referencing and expression criticisms, but these are minor.  Remember to try and not use too much jargon and academic language.  You don’t want to sound too florid.  But well done.
H1



 [MT1]By “we” just use “I”.
Try not to dot point or list in your essay.  Better incorporate this into the body of your text.

 [MT2]Good.

 [MT3]Good use of sub-headings.

 [MT4]What do you mean by this?  Needs to be explained a little further.

 [MT5]Good.

 [MT6]Where do you get this information from?

 [MT7]Good expansion on the quote.

 [MT8]Good.

 [MT9]Very interesting.